I am a completely different person than I was just a few years ago. OK, well, not completely. But I have been fundamentally changed in most aspects of my day-to-day actions and thinking than I ever imagined possible. I define myself in completely new ways, often in words I have only recently learned.
Ich bin ein Hausfrau. I am a house wife, an American, an expat, a foreigner. I have become an optimist, a lady of leisure, lady who lunches, lady who anything (whoever thought of me as a lady before?). At times I am a slacker. I am jobless (though I like to think of it as some sort of temporary early retirement). I am an adventurer, amateur photographer, a talker, explorer. I have become an organizer of domestic affairs, creator of foreign sports leagues, liaison to other newcomers.
I am so many things that I never imagined myself to be. I live a very different life now than when I lived in 'the States'. In fact, I never would have referred to where I lived as 'the States' before moving abroad. I have the worst case of culture shock when I return 'home' for a visit. I used to think of it as reverse culture shock but really, it is just plain culture shock. How strange it is to be uncomfortable in a life that you once happily lived in. I look at my new home in Switzerland with wide-eyed wonder and excitement but rarely do I feel out of place here. It is there, what used to be 'home'- Phoenix, Arizona, the US, 'The States' - that gives me pause.
I realize all of these changes in me since moving, yet I do not think that many of my longtime friends are aware of just how different I am. OK, so maybe some things are glaringly obvious, and those who have asked are more likely to see some of the ways that I am a different person now. I try not to sound too negative but I also try not to sound too proud. I try to not talk about my life much unless I am asked but I have this nagging feeling that I am somehow being untrue to myself by not sharing more of who I have become with the people I have known for so long.
After three years I have collected too many stories that I have kept to myself. I have changed in too many ways to not begin to share them. My adventure here is amazing and I want to share some of the changes for me from my 25 years spent in the urban desert of Arizona. I figure the best way to do that is to just jump in with whatever pops into my head - the big things, the small things, the profound things - habits, behaviors, reflections, objects and oddities. I want people to know the me that I am here and now just as well as you knew the me I was before setting out on this adventure. I want to bring you into my world and make you curious about my experiences. I want to help you understand the myriad of ways that I am different and why. I want you to see at least a little bit of how this environment helped change me.
I hope that more people ask questions about where I've traveled, the things I have seen, and how life here is different and exciting and curious. I hope that this will help you understand why I have found so much happiness here, why I hope that we get to stay, and why I have contemplated trading in my US passport for a Swiss one. Here I live a Verschieden Leben - a different life - than the one I used to have. Verschieden has so many meanings and all of them seem to fit my current experience - different, distinct, separate, dissimilar, miscellaneous.
I have become Verschiedenartig (varied, diverse, different). Welcome to my Verschieden Leben.
